A lot has changed over the years. When I think about the person I used to be and the things that I used to do, it is a miracle that I am doing the things that I am doing now. When I got married, I had reached a milestone in my life and I thought all that was left to do was to have children. So that's what I did...I had 4 kids and I thought that my life would be about raising them and then becoming a grandmother, and then I would die and go be with Jesus. Now, that doesn't seem so bad but that is just the status quo, I suppose. I thought that once I became a Christian, I would live my life, try to be good, do the right things and let life happen around me while protecting my kids, praying for others, and paying bills. By the time I reached 30, I had been a teacher for almost a decade, I had 3 kids and I was doing okay. I didn't have any career goals worth mentioning, I didn't have any life goals other than losing weight, and I didn't have any relationship goals other than being nice to everyone! My whole world was turned upside down when I joined Celebration Church and I found out that God wants more for my life than what I was doing, that there are people out there without hope that need to hear about who God is and what He can do. What I learned about God's character and power and love just burned in my heart and spurred me on to seek out my purpose. I've learned that the Christian life can be anything but safe and boring!
I had a very hard season right around the time that we moved to St. Augustine. I hit rock bottom during that time and I remember thinking, “Is this all there is to life?” I had become discontent with the status quo and I begun to want more from life but couldn't fathom how I could possibly do more when I had 4 kids to raise, isn't that enough? I joined a small group where I read Christine Caine's book, Can I have and do it all, please? That is exactly what I wanted to know! This book had a section of questions in it that helps women discover their purpose, and it was these questions that set me in the direction that I have been going in ever since! It's hard to believe how far I've come and where I am headed. I loved being a preschool teacher and loving on the kids and their families, but God has something more for me and I intend on giving everything I've got to follow Him!
There have been so many things going on to avert me from my mission and goals! We are totally broke, so trying to start a business is not easy but only the impossible can happen with God! I've had so many health set backs since 2009, it would take another blog just to go through them all! God has been right by my side, though, and my new motto is, “Nothing is going to hold me down, I've got to keep on moving!” As an example, just yesterday while I waited for my kids at the bus stop, a piece of mulch went through my shoe and punctured my foot! Talk about crazy, blood was dripping and my toes and shoe were red and instead of sitting down and panicking, I pulled off the shoe(which took the wood out of my foot), looked at the blood, put my shoe back on and walked home! The reason why I walked is because I didn't have my van yesterday since my husband's car battery had died. Lately, I've been just pushing past the pain and through the uncertainty and the results have always been better than if I had just stayed still. I'm not taking no for an answer anymore. I'm not going to just be content and be silent. My heart and my mission have to do with people. There are a lot of people out there that have no one thinking about them, praying for them, helping them through the rough patches, caring for their safety and well-being. God has given me a purpose and I intend on accomplishing that purpose with honor and integrity.
Today, I am standing at the precipice, the start of something that could be just more than I'd ever imagined or hoped for, but that is the kind of God that I serve. He does amazing things through those who have nothing without Him. This may mean that I won't be a stay-at-home mom anymore but this new venture may help me be there for my kids and provide things for them that I can't right now. Nothing in this life comes easy and that is something that I am learning, and nothing comes easy that is worth having. I'm not doing this for just my family, I'm doing this for families and children within my sphere of influence. We'll see just how far God takes me, because I am willing to go there with Him!
So keep your eyes and ears open for what is to come. I pray that God moves mountains and makes the impossible possible because I've got big God-sized dreams that require faith the size of a mustard seed and a God that is big enough and strong enough to make my dreams come true!
Please pray for me! I'm going to need it!
The Cooking Activist and Warrior for Christ